


I'm sorry.

by Curly



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Free S3 EP6 killed me, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Let Hiyori rest, M/M, kind of lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 09:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curly/pseuds/Curly
Summary: “You’re wrong! You’re not the little mermaid!” Hiyori's heart accelerated as if he were in a relay race and his turn to jump was close.“I can’t be strong like Haru.”The emotions in Hiyori's heart exploded as well as his patience.[x]orMy version of how the chapter continued after Ikuya and Hiyori's fight.





	I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> The conversation between Ikuya and Hiyori is exactly the same as they had in the anime, it's basically a transcription although I tried to give more depth to what they both felt, but narrated from the point of view of Hiyori. Hope you enjoy reading!

 

“…I was still as weak as ever.” He blamed himself. Just as he was doing the past days.

“ _You’re strong, Ikuya_.”

Ikuya didn’t hear him.

“Even if I sink, no one’s going to save me anymore.” That’s a lie. Hiyori was right there. “So I have to get stronger on my own. That’s why I practiced so hard…”

You did Ikuya. You really did.

“ _You could aim for the global level_. _You could compete globally_.”

“But I couldn’t get stronger.”

“ _That’s not true_! You’ve gotten _a lot_ stronger!” Hiyori couldn’t believe what his best friend was saying. He couldn’t. “You can become who you want to be! You don’t have to wish on stars to make dreams come true!”

It was ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous since it started and Hiyori knew that at some point they would end up in this mess. In Ikuya blaming himself thinking about the past instead of thinking about the present and how his dream was just starting. He just needed to continue the race without stopping until the end... but Ikuya was blinded, his past with Nanase was blinding him and it was unfortunate how a swimmer with his ability could fall so deep because of a single person and make him the protagonist of his goals.

“In exchange of her voice, the little mermaid gained human legs and excruciating pain. I gave up my heart in order to get stronger… Or I thought I did but, I couldn’t become human…”

“ _You’re wrong!_ You’re _not_ the little mermaid!” Hiyori's heart accelerated as if he were in a relay race and his turn to jump was close.

“I can’t be strong like Haru.”

The emotions in Hiyori's heart exploded as well as his patience. Listening to Ikuya misunderstanding his feelings about being the mermaid, when he was in fact the prince, or hear him idolizing Nanase, were things that Hiyori could control, things he didn't even have a real problem with. But, to hear Ikuya compare himself with Nanase for the sole purpose of throwing himself down was something he wouldn't allow. Ikuya was an impressive swimmer and Hiyori admired him a lot and knew he was capable of being great and swim for his dreams. But if he kept comparing himself with Nanase, if he still was feeling weak because of Nanase, Hiyori would lose his mind, and he couldn't let Ikuya keep thinking so little about himself or his talent because of events that hadn't been concluded in his childhood.

So, Hiyori in a discharge of energy in which his emotions no longer wanted to be enclosed, he took Ikuya's hand and pushed him hard so that his body could slide down the kid's slide until he ended down, and Hiyori positioned his legs on each side of Ikuya, reclining his body until his fists were on either side of Ikuya's head, very well held to the kid's slide bars.

His eyes were intense and pleading looking at Ikuya's confused. Hiyori was honestly fed up. Things needed to change and Ikuya needed to settle his head and forget the cause that was messing with his head.

“Can’t you just forget about Nanase already? I can’t stand to see you suffering because of him any longer.”

Ikuya got a bit caught from his emotions.

“I’ll think about myself, for myself.”

“You could aim for the global level.” Hiyori said while his fists were wrapped around the metal of the kid's slide. Why couldn't Ikuya understand that he had all the capacity of the world to be the best and when would he stop comparing himself with other people? Because the whole "I’ll think about myself, for myself" was shit because he wasn't thinking about himself for himself. Everything in his head shouted Nanase. “I know you can do it. You can become a new you! If that’ll bring you happiness-”

“You don’t…” Ikuya seemed to revive in some way. “You don’t understand anything! Don’t talk like you do!” he said angrily and pushed himself up, bringing his fist to Hiyori's chest to push him back.

Hiyori almost fell to the ground, and then he just looked down sadly. He didn't understand anything anymore.

“You’re not the normal Ikuya right now. Ever since you saw Nanase… Just forget about him. Ikuya… Why don’t you get it?! That would be the best thing for you right now!”

He just wanted Ikuya to understand, to try to at least understand his point. But then Ikuya pushed his fist back against his chest.

“It’s not your concern, Hiyori!” he shouted at him without measuring the level of his words. Or how much it would hurt.

That person who looked at him with a rude and lost expression wasn't his friend, he wasn't the person Hiyori loved and with whom he would put his hands on the fire and then go straight to hell to make him happy.

Ikuya's fist became weak against his chest and gradually fell. The silence had invaded them and neither of them knew what to say. Hiyori was hurt and speechless... and he was also afraid. Really afraid of being alone again.

“Sorry.”

Ikuya apologized with a bit of remorse, walking away.

"Ikuya ..." Hiyori whispered.

Could he just sit still and watch Ikuya leave? It was a difficult decision. They weren't kids anymore and they were in college starting their adult lives and Hiyori knew it wasn't easy. Nothing was easy when you grow up and responsibilities have a more delicate weight and your decisions are what define the course of your future. Everything was complicated and he knew it very well and he wanted to help, he needed to help Ikuya to not be sunk in darkness and to discover the way to the surface where the light would help him to not lower his arms.

But... Who would help _him?_ Hiyori personally _knew_ what it was to be sunk deep in the ocean without drowning but not knowing how to get out of there. He knew what it was like to be lost and not have anyone for you. He knew what loneliness was and lived with it until he lost his head, but always with a smile so nobody would suspect how hurt his heart was. Hiyori knew it very well and was afraid of falling back there, of sinking back until not even the one that was his light before could help him now.

And the big problem was that, his light also had a life of his own and was battling with his own sea demons. His light wouldn't help if he drowned and didn't see a clear path.

And that terrified him.

"Ikuya ..." Hiyori whispered again looking down. His hands trembled a little and his gaze was lost a few seconds. He had no idea what to do or how things would continue and he was really afraid to be alone again.

However, not long after he whispered his best friend's name, he appeared again in his field of vision as if he were a ghost reincarnating the old version of Ikuya, and with insecure but determined eyes, approached Hiyori to the point to extend his arms around his neck and pull him against his body.

Hiyori's breathing stopped for a few seconds in which he returned the embrace in a weak and insecure way. Ikuya separated just a little to see him with his bright eyes illuminated by the moon.

While there were no stars in the sky that night, for Hiyori Ikuya's eyes were even more beautiful than any constellation in the universe.

"I'm sorry." Ikuya whispered and tilted his head to hide his face in Hiyori's neck. "I'm sorry." He repeated as he pressed his lips against the skin of Hiyori's throat. A small stream of electricity ran through his body as he felt Ikuya's soft, moist lips against his neck, but his head was too overwhelmed to complain when Ikuya pulled his lips away to gently glue them back against another spot on Hiyori's neck. Ikuya's arms wrapped a little more around him and his lips gently left many kisses on the skin of his neck. One of Hiyori's hands remained hugging Ikuya's waist and lower back as he made his other hand travel to his friend's hair to stroke him lightly. It was so soft that it could be mistaken for cotton. "I'm sorry." Ikuya repeated again with his voice a little deeper and choked, and brought his lips to Hiyori's jaw. His kisses were short, soft, and wet against his skin and caused Hiyori's heart to accelerate and his head to block the words he wanted to release. When Ikuya kissed his cheek, he wanted to tell him that he felt sorry too, that he couldn't save him from himself now as he had saved him that time he almost drowned. When Ikuya wetly kissed his chin, he wanted to tell him that he was the best swimmer in the world and that he would go far if he stopped tormenting his head with Nanase, that for Hiyori he would always be the number one. When Ikuya kissed wetly and slowly the corner of his lip with all the softness and affection of the world, he wanted to tell him that he would be there for him whenever he needed it, that he only had to call his name and Hiyori would be in a blink at his side. And when Ikuya hesitantly pushed his lips together with Hiyori's, he wanted to tell him that he was his prince, not the siren.

He wanted to tell him so many things but the words didn't come out.

And he didn't let that stop him. He buried his fingers in Ikuya's hair, bringing his face closer to his and making their mouths melt painfully but deliciously against each other. Ikuya's lips were soft and wet, as if he just came out of the pool and Hiyori's heart was overwhelmed by the taste. All kinds of emotions invaded his body when Ikuya's hands went to his cheeks to be able to lead the kiss, but also to be able to caress with his hands the skin of Hiyori's face. Their mouths parted and fiercely returned to share with each other many wet kisses that did nothing more to bring out all the frustration, all the anger, all the sadness and all the motivation that still remained in their bodies.

When Ikuya's tongue found his and a small moan escaped his lips, Hiyori felt a lot of weight on his chest. Everything was too much and he felt that he would explode because of his emotions and he couldn't stop a few tears that escaped without permission through his eyes. He didn't want to scare Ikuya... but when he felt a wet liquid against his cheeks and neck, he opened his eyes and saw that they weren't his tears but Ikuya's. He was also crying but his eyes were still closed as he kissed him with passion and despair. Both were crying, both were kissing each other, and both had many mixed feelings that needed to be released. Everything was too much. His heart was contracting against his rib cage and his head had no answers at all. His brain was as lost as he was.

Then a bark brought him back to reality.

Hiyori blinked many times and realized he was still standing in the middle of that playground.

And he was alone. And his cheeks were wet. And a dog was barking from the street in his direction.

His head played against him and he had to accept it. A soft laugh escaped his lips until it transformed into laughter that seemed to silence the dog that had not stopped barking until then.

Nothing made sense anymore. Not even his own head.

Hiyori dropped his ass on the sand and in a few minutes the dog that had apparently been barking from the street was at his side.

"Hey, you," he said to the puppy and it tilted its head a little. "Thank you. For bringing me back, I mean."

The dog let out a friendly bark in his direction and Hiyori smiled a little as he felt his vision being very blurry until he blinked allowing those tears to be free.

"I don't know what to do, buddy." He said to the dog in his choked voice. The tears didn't stop coming out from his eyes. "My best friend is lost and I don't know how to help him. He doesn't listen to me, he doesn't want to understand... he doesn't want to be helped. How do you help someone who don't want help? He doesn't even think I understand, and if I dont, He should explain how he feels to me better, damnit! "

The puppy seemed to get a little nervous and let out a few loud barks. Hiyori looked in it's direction and very carefully extended one of his hands to caress behind the ears of the animal. That seemed to relax it until it sat down to enjoy the caress.

"I think I'm like you?" Hiyori reasoned. "I mean, I needed someone to comfort me and I thought of my best friend consoling me, when the truth is that we both need comfort." The puppy didn't stop looking at him with bright eyes at all times. "Although luckily he has his brother and a group of very insistent childhood friends who can comfort him. I, on the other hand, don't have anyone. I have friends, teammates and even classmates... but they aren't as close to me as Ikuya is. I don't have as many friends as I thought, apparently. Hah." Hiyori gave a small giggle and the puppy escaped his caress to get closer to him and rub its head against the side of his body. "Well, at least I have you, little friend. You are a true friend."

The puppy barked a little and kept rubbing its small head against Hiyori in search of comfort, which was extremely crazy. Hiyori never had pets, despite insisting to his parents a pet to not feel so alone, and he never thought that one day he would end up crying in the middle of a children's playground with a stray dog comforting him.

Many minutes passed in which Hiyori cried as if his eyes were an endless source of tears. The puppy was at his side all the time and he returned to caress the head of the animal. His head was still a little overwhelmed, but his thoughts were beginning to regain their coherence. Maybe things with Ikuya were complicated because Ikuya and Nanase never closed the stage with that promise they made as kids in front of the stars and... Hiyori had been very rude to Nanase because of that. Maybe the answer was always Nanase and Hiyori, because of his feelings, never could see it, but it was a little clearer now. Maybe he would need to apologize to Nanase and ask him to apologize to Ikuya for never being able to keep that promise and things would go back to normal.

Humans feelings were complicated things, but perhaps to get those emotions afloat was necessary to be able to move forward. At the moment he wasn't sure of anything, but what he was sure of was that he would not cry anymore. And after caressing the puppy's head for the last time and promising to visit it again, he stood up decisively and walked towards the exit of that dark and lonely playground, walking forward along the street with a fixed destination in his mind.

Because from now on, he would always walk forward and not let his loved ones stay behind.

 

 

 

 


End file.
